Insert Sexual Innuendo Here
by Teh-Nun-and-The-Ministrater
Summary: Drinks do things to people. Heres my proof. NOTE: It may seem like a yaoi but it's NOT. Please enjoy and um if you have a promblem blame the liberals.


**[Insert Sexual Innuendo Here]**  
  
**Summery:** You know there is a saying, before you judge someone walk a mile in their shoes. I say, walk a mile in their shoes and clothes, then whilst your at it, steal their identity.  
  
**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and neither do you. So don't sue.  
  
**Rating:** PG-13 for use of alcohol, adult language, sexual innuendos, and the insanity you are about to read.

**Note:** The note is at the bottom. XD

--- --- ---  
  
**Chapter 1 "One Hell of a Hairy Ordeal"**  
  
There are two things that the Gundam pilots have discovered over the past several years of knowing the infamous Duo Maxwell:  
  
1.) Don't _ever_ get him drunk.  
  
2.) Don't _ever_ play one of his game whilst him being under the influence of foreign alcohol.  
  
Unfortunately being the teenage boys they still were, they forgot both of those sacred rules. Not only was Duo drunk, but he had enlisted many accomplices to play a "friendly" game of Spin the Bottle Truth or Dare. Well this "friendly" little game brought on a hoard of hellish fun...  
  
"My turnnn..." slurred a drunken Duo while he took yet another swig from his bottle of Wild Turkey whiskey.  
  
"Jesus Christ my head hurts," whined Quatre as he stared down at the four empty bottles of Sapporo beer in front of him.  
  
"Do you think another bottle of Sapporo would help, Quat?" Wufei giggled as he shook his bottle of Vodka.  
  
"Do you have one to spare?" Quatre asked as he looked hopefully at the Chinese boy sitting across from him.  
  
"No, and if I did I wouldn't give it to a sissy little weakling like you," he mumbled as he tossed the empty bottle of vodka over his shoulder. "Besides, I would have drunken it already..."  
  
"MY TURN!!" Duo yelled as Wufei and Quatre continued to banter.  
  
Leaning over he grasped the bottle of white wine in the middle of the circle and gave it a weak spin. With glazed over eyes the pilot watched as it spun around a few times and stopped right in front of Heero who, may I add, was busy chatting quietly with a half sober looking Trowa. Downing a small cup of Sake the clown looked up to the middle of the floor and arched an eyebrow, gesturing for Heero to follow his gaze.  
  
As he turned towards the bottle Heero saw that its mouth was pointed towards him and an evilly grinning Duo was sitting directly behind it. Rubbing his non-existent beard the braided baka glanced between a wobbling Dorothy and a stoic Heero. He smiled manically.  
  
"Hehehehe," Duo chuckled. "Hee-chan my bare for you, ish to give a smack on de lisp to the pershon her' with the longesht hare and it hast to be like teh French do it."  
  
Spitting out his cleverly disguised water and face faulting in a gaping stare. Briefly thanking every god the soldiers he had killed had ever prayed to that he had been intelligent enough not to drink anything Duo had given to him and instead just hidden them behind his back.  
  
"Huh?" Dorothy grumbled as she looked over at Hilde who was sitting on her right.  
  
Smiling broadly the drunken German biker said, "You get to kisss HERRO!"  
  
"What?" Dorothy shrieked as she blushed deeply and looked up at Heero. "YEAH!! Eat my declaritoin of war you pink obessed bimbo! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Everyone except Heero was amused.  
  
Then that's when Hilde noticed something. "Duuoo, take your hair down..." She slurred.  
  
"Whi?" Duo mumbled as he fished around the empty bottles for a full one.  
  
"Because you're a damn pansy and your hair is feckin' longer than the eyebrow freak," Wufei's haughty voice carried annoyingly across the room.  
  
"What?" Duo mumbled as he wiped away the slobber from his mouth with the end of his braid.  
  
"Oh my God, the PMS-ing King was right," Trowa spoke out boldly as his dilated emerald eyes bulged.  
  
"Oh shit." Heero reached around for the bottle of "Suicide" mixed just for him.  
  
Quatre started laughing as he sloshed excess beer around the carpeted floor of Dorothy's apartment. Hilde joined in as Wufei shot an evil glare towards Trowa and his unibang.  
  
"Shut it, Cyclops," Wufei hissed.  
  
"Time for your KISSIE WHISSY!" a drunken Sally wailed as she stood along with Hilde to drag the unwilling boys towards the center of the floor.  
  
Dorothy cried.  
  
Quatre laughed.  
  
Wufei smirked.  
  
And Trowa, well Trowa produced a video camera from out of spandex space a.k.a. nowhere. "Hahaha...blackmail..."  
  
"Ah fuck," Heero cursed as he downed the rest of the toxin that Duo had mixed before the party.  
  
Duo made for the door but unfortunately was hog tied with his braid before he could say German biker pants. Slowly advancing towards Heero Sally and Hilde notice a mad glimmer in the pretty boy's eyes.  
  
"I OBJECT, damn it." Heero laughed as he chunked the now empty bottle at Duo's head.  
  
As the bottle met with the iron plated head of the braided one it shattered. "...screw... me...Heero."  
  
For the first time in his life, Heero felt disturbed and violated. Death glaring the already unconscious pilot into the grave he frowned and picked up the first bottle his hand met with.  
  
Dorothy stopped crying.  
  
Quatre frowned disappointedly.  
  
Wufei's smirk dropped.  
  
And Trowa tucked away his camera until further notice.  
  
Quatre's frown evaporated as a new idea struck him. "Since Duo can't play anymore I'll think of your dare." Pondering for a moment the happy little Arabian smiled broadly as he said, "Alright, Heero, You and Trowa have to switch clothes for an entire day, boxers and all. Oh and you can't stay inside, we're going to the Amusement Park."  
  
"What the fuck?!" Trowa yelped as he stood straight up. "How did I get involved?"  
  
"You're the only one sober enough to remember this tomorrow." Quatre smiled as he did the peace sign.  
  
"Who the hell says I'm sober!?!" yelled the enraged clown.  
  
"Well at least I don't have to kiss you." Heero remarked as he fondled the bottle of alcohol he held in his hands and winked suggestively.  
  
Quickly Trowa snatched the bottle out of Heero's hands and shook his head. "No more of Duo's concoctions for you." Turning up the bottle Trowa finished it off.  
  
Throwing the bottle to the floor Trowa soon fell after it.  
  
"Hmmm..." Quatre hummed as he wobbled forward to kneel next to the passed out clown. "Guess heh couldnt handel that stuffs of Duoss..."  
  
"Who said that one was Duos?" Heero mumbled as he looked with a pout towards the shattered bottle. "That one was mine."  
  
**--- --- ---**  
  
**NOTE:** Misspelled words are to indicate drunkenness.  
  
YUP that's it for Chapter 1. XD  
  
- Puffy and Fluffy -


End file.
